A very CSI Christmas
by katyrye
Summary: CSI and Christmas. What more can we ask for?
1. Twas the Crime Before Christmas

Twas the night before Christmas and all down the strip,

Jim Brass was driving in pursuit of a tip,

He took his time and drove slowly with care,

With hopes that the CSI's would already be there,

~0~

He parked by a Santa Claus holding a bag,

But this old this old Saint Nick was screaming out "Hags!"

So D.B with his gloves and Sara her glasses,

Comb through the scene to cover their asses,

~0~

When out on the street there arose such a clatter,

Jim jumped from his car to see what was the matter,

Away from the scene he flew like a flash,

In time to see a three pile-up crash,

~0~

"Dear God in heaven," Jim Brass said with a shout,

"This isn't what Christmas is supposed to be about."

And what to his shocking eyes should appear,

But the vagrant Santa pulling eight stuffed reindeer,

~0~

"We need back up," D.B yelled over to Jim,

"No kidding," Brass replied with a grin,

More rapid then eagles security came,

As they tackled the Santa away from the flames,

~0~

"Now Dasher! Now Dancer! Now, Prancer and Vixen!

On Comet! On Cupid! On Donner and Blitzen!

They're out of their cars now here is our chance,

To find Rudolph a new pair of pants!"

~0~

The passengers sat on the sidewalk and stared

At the Santa wearing naught but a shirt and underwear,

"Son of a bitch," Sara Sidle said wearing a frown,

"I just hope to God I can keep my food down."

~0~

Jim and D.B turned away from the sight,

As patrolmen were reading Santa his rights,

"Something's not right here," D.B said with a nod,

"They came racing down the strip with their pimped out hot rods?"

~0~

"I'm tired of this," Jim said with a wave.

"Come on guys it's been a long really day."

Patrol cars were loaded and evidence bagged,

"Let's get all this stuff back to the lab."

~0~

But Sara's mind was on Grissom and his deep eyes of blue,

D.B said, with a nudge, "We've got work to do."

So she gave her head a shake and went back to work,

"It's not the first time I've thought of that unemotional jerk."

~0~

Back at the lab they logged every in,

Just in time to see Greg do a Michael Jackson spin,

"I was listening to 'Thriller'," Greg pleaded his case,

"That's fine," D.B nodded approvingly as Greg moon-walked away,

~0~

Nick was nearby, a right jolly soul

Measuring the diameter between two bullet holes,

With wink of his eye and a tilt of his head,

"Is this day over yet," he asked. "I'm ready for bed?"

~0~

"Not just yet," D.B said with a shake.

"I got two more scenes that no one will take?

It's been a long shift and I hate to say

That one of us is going to stay."

~0~

"Not it," everyone shouted, their hands raised up high.

Everyone, except Finn, who sat seated nearby.

Her head was hanging and they heard a snore,

"Give it to her," Nick said. "I'm sure she'll work more."

~0~

They all turned on their heels and ran out of sight,

"Happy Christmas to all and to all a good night."


	2. Hodges The Brown Nosed Lab Tech

You know Grissom and Sara and David and D.B,

Nick Stokes and Greg and Morgan and Wendy,

But do you recall….. the biggest suck-up of all…

Hodges the brown-nosed lab tech,

Had a very special nose,

But everyone would talk and whisper,

About him wherever he goes,

All of the other lab techs,

Used to laugh and call him names,

They never let poor Hodges,

Join in any science games.

Then one busy Saturday night,

D.B came to say,

"Hodges with your nose so brown,

Won't you sit your punk-ass down!"

Then all the lab techs loved him,

And they all cheered for D.B.

Hodges turned and muttered,

"I'll get the last laugh you'll see."


	3. The Sara that Stole Christmas

Every CSI in Las Vegas liked Christmas a lot….

But Sara, who had an office just north of the exit, did not.

Sara hated Christmas! The whole Christmas season!

No one needed to ask why. They all knew the reason.

Could it be that she rarely slept at night?

Could it be that her gloves were one quite too tight?

But every lab tech knew, the tall and the small,

That it was because Grissom's heart was two sizes too small.

For this reason Sara stood, arms snuggly crossed,

Regretting the day she married her boss.

Staring down the hall at the break room so jolly,

With it's stupid garland, dumb stockings, and ridiculous holly.

She knew, down the hall, they were all hanging wreaths

Expecting that Santa would soon bring them treats.

"They're all hanging they're stockings," she snarled with a sneer,

we don't have a chimney, how can Santa come here?"

Then she scoffed, her fingers nervously tapping,

"If I don't stop this now I'll have to help with the wrapping!"

"They'll watch movies in the break room and dumb Christmas shows,

And suffocate us all with aerosol'ed fake snow."

"And THEN all the noise noise noise,

That's one thing I HATE… all the noise noise noise!"

Then the CSI's will hold a big pot luck and they'll FEAST!

AND THEY'LL FEAST FEAST FEAST!"

"Then we'll go out on calls," Sara said as she sank to her knees.

"For idiots who burned down their own Christmas trees!"

The more Sara thought the madder she grew,

Then she added "I know just what to do."

"I'll wait to their busy," Sara said as she turned,

"Then I'll light it on fire and just watch it burn."

"But that's arson," she said as she quickly rethought.

"It has to be done legally so I don't get caught."

And then Sara got an idea,

Sara Sidle got a wonderful awful Idea.

"I'll solve this whole mess," she said shutting her door.

"This whole holiday shit will be no more."

Later that night, with everyone busy

Sara got a bag and walked in a hurry,

"I'll take it to the dump and then it'll be gone!

For I know that they will be back soon."

She stuffed in their wreaths and everything red,

She threw in their bells and hats for their heads.

Then she grabbed up their mistletoe and little red berries,

"Why does everyone else get to be merry?"

Then she saw a big package and stopped to look close,

Her face turned white as if she had seen a ghost.

The box said "From Gil" and Sara felt tingles,

"This isn't the time for these warm Christmas feelings."

As Sara turned with her bag she saw a tall boy,

It was Greg Sanders, who was a mere 34.

"What the Hell?" he asked with a shout.

"Sara, this isn't what Christmas is about!"

"Then what's it about, Greg. Cause I don't really know,

Why do I have to be left all alone?"

"He sent you a present," Greg said as he grabbed it.

"Maybe he too has finally had it."

So Sara took the gift and gave it a shake,

The thought of Gil Grissom made her heart ache.

"Open it up," Greg said with a smile.

"Maybe it's a dinosaur or a brand new floor tile!"

"Perhaps it's a new car or a dress for a date,

Or a brand new puppy or key for a gate."

"Greg, please stop your rhyming," Sara said with a plea.

"I'll open it later so please let me be."

She gave Greg the bag of Christmas décor,

And headed back home before she took more.

As she drove all alone she looked down at the gift,

"What is it?" She thought with an emotional sniff.

"Why is he reaching out to me in this kind of way?

Does he finally have something to say?"

So Sara kept driving, not knowing what to do,

"Does he still love me the way he used to?"

Her cell phone soon rang and in Vegas they say,

That Gil Grissom's small heart grew three sizes that day.

"It's me," Gil said his voice hesitant,

"I was hoping that you opened your Christmas present."

"Not yet," Sara replied, picking it up,

"I'm driving right now and I have to hang up."

She hung up real quick before he could answer,

She didn't have time for that arrogant bastard,

"Why now?" she thought as she drove on,

"What is done has be done! There's no going back,

I can't handle any more of this crazy assjack.

What can he say that will fix this mess of a marriage?

Is there anything that we can salvage?"

As Sara pulled up she saw her lights lit,

"Whatever," she scoffed. "I don't give a shit."

Grabbing her present she went on inside,

But nothing prepared her for the next awesome sight,

In the kitchen stood Gil who was busy with his cooking,

She threw the gift down and went on with her sulking.

"Why are you here?" she said looking away,

She had enough now and it had been a long day.

"I needed to see you," he said as he turned.

"I just didn't want to bother you while you were at work.

I sent you a present and I see it's unopened,

Open it, Sara," with motion.

Sara slumped down and tossed down her gear,

With her free hand she stopped to wipe at a tear.

Maybe Christmas, Sara thought, didn't come from a store.

Maybe Christmas, perhaps, meant a lot more.

She pulled back the paper and tore at the bow,

Wiping at tears that had run down her nose.

What she saw had stunned her and she didn't expect it,

It was a smaller box and the next one was smaller,

And smaller they shrank,

Until Sara sat holding a little black box,

Inside sat a ring set in three precious rocks,

"Let's do it again," he said as he took it.

The ring was quite lovely and oh how it fit,

But Sara grew worried and pulled her hand back,

"How do I know that you won't just go back?"

"I'm not going back," he said with smile.

"I've been wanting this now for a while.

I've missed your dark eyes and your curly dark hair,

I've missed the way you throw clothes everywhere,

I've missed your laugh and the way you wrinkle your nose,

Even the paint on your littlest toe."

Sara let out a laugh and she gave him a kiss,

After all it was him that she really did miss.

"It's been an odd night and you have the worst timing,

But why does everyone keep rhyming?"

"It's been getting weird," Sara suddenly said.

"I just can't keep these words out of my head."

"I think we're in a poem," Grissom replied with a grin.

Sara took a finger and lifted his chin.

"Merry Christmas, Gil," Sara said with a kiss.

It was Gil, after all, who got a great Christmas wish.

"I like Christmas now," Sara with a smile,

"but this poem has been going on for a while…"

Yes this is a poem, the Grissom's were right.

Sorry, it is over now. Good night.


End file.
